The Evolution of “Friends”
As time passes words with once strong connotations fade and are reborn, redefining themselves to fit the molds each new generation sets for their ideal society. As our generation has begun to move in a far more progressive direction than that of our predecessors, a similar phenomenon has occurred, specifically with what it means to be someone’s “friend”.
There was once a time when the connotation of the word “friend” indicated the presence of another individual with whom you maintained varying degrees of relationships, spanning from mere acquaintances to lifelong connections. Regardless of the dynamic at hand, though, there almost always existed a clear line which a mere friendship could not cross, one that separated friends from the more intimate life you shared with family or your spouse. As we have progressed through human history, however, the definition of what it means to be someone’s “friend” has dramatically shifted, and can now be vaguely applied to a variety of relationships, even extending to the most intense heights of intimacy. In our modern day society, you can engage in sexual relationships with a friend and continue to maintain a perfectly stable, platonic relationship; the boundaries of whom we can mark as our friends (as well as how much of ourselves we are allowed to share with others) have faded, allowing new, more diverse relationships to populate our world. When talking with my parents, I was at one time presented with the idea that, when they were young adults, it was unheard of for them to initiate friendships with members of the opposite sex unless they were in pursuit of a sexual or romantic relationship, and that the notion of making such friends now, while not impossible, was far from second nature to them. This contrasted greatly with my own experiences throughout middle and high school, in which I maintained a fairly even ratio of gender across my friend pools.
With any marker of progressive change comes the inevitable conseervative pushback, and the evolution of friendships is no different. As diversity enters the relationships of the younger generations, those wishing to preserve a more rigid system of personal connections often complain that we are sacrificing the identity of our very society, diluting integral elements of who we are by embracing sexual and social fluidity alike. However, if we are not given platforms to explore the identities we are supposedly sacrificing, we will never be able to truly define for ourselves who we are and what we want in life. The freedom to make choices for ourselves extends to every aspect of our minds and bodies, including the person we broadcast to the world and the relationships we form. Thus, we must similarly make use of the freedom to define relationships as exactly what we desire them to be, optimizing the dynamics we share with others to squeeze as much life experience as possible out of each and every person we come into contact with.
The trend towards sexual progressiveness is a byproduct of our society’s overarching shift towards progressive social values, and we can only expect to be able to support more and more open lifestyles in times to come. There are many things we as humans deserve: the right to live freely, with the resources needed to survive, with people around us who can provide us with emotional care. However, one of the most important liberties awarded to us is our right to individuality, our right to mix sex with our personal societies if we deem it necessary for our overall health/happiness, and our right to make what we will of the world we have so little time in.