Juggling Media and Morals
Photo courtesy of King University Online
I used to wonder if it was just me that let people I observed in various forms of media affect the way I saw and thought about myself. You know: movies, TV shows, Instagram, TikTok, and yeah, even porn. Even if inadvertently, I have to admit I’ve let them affect me more than I’d like. But it’s no surprise that media can lead to bad self image, depression, and even suicide. Documentaries like The Social Network by David Fincher or the countless articles my parents send me in my family group chat taught me that a long, long time ago; the kinds that urge you to cease any and all media use immediately. And while I appreciate Mom and Dad looking out for me, I’m a teenager. A lot of us are. And a lot of us are aware of the influence the media has over us, but we’ve only just come to accept it. It's ingrained into the fabric of our lives as well as that of our generation’s. We’ve used it to create massive waves in society. We’re not gonna throw all of that away. At least, I know I’m not. And while that’s totally okay, and totally normal, some changes do need to be made.
The fact is, scientifically, media has been proven to have detrimental effects on teenagers. In case you’re unfamiliar, let me break down the classic “social media is bad'' scenario, influenced by said findings, they give you at schools:
“Jennifer had a horrible day. She failed her Honors Chemistry test (bless her soul) and then her father got mad at her. But she still posted a selfie on Instagram of her in her room, with a big smile on her face, and the caption, “happier than ever ”. This leads to Tonya being jealous of how perfect and amazing and fantabulous Jennifer’s life is, and so Tonya gets upset. Therefore, social media is fake and is bad for you.”
Don’t get me wrong. This scenario is totally valid, it’s just also...not the only one. A lot of the time, people who say social media is “bad” reduce it to how fake it is. But first of all, social media isn’t always fake. In fact, sometimes it’s used for great things. (Like our instagram page, @tthetalkk, go follow it). And second of all, it is not JUST social media. Influential media comes in all different forms. Like when you watch trashy teen shows and for some reason all of the literal juniors in highschool– who should still be going through puberty– are instead freakishly attractive and sculpted to perfection.
Another example that actually affects a lot of people is the porn industry. Before I continue, I’d like to preface this by saying: it’s fine and great if you watch porn. It’s also fine and great if you don’t. It’s truly a preference. But for my people who do indulge, there are some good and bad ways to do so.
One thing people can do is really consider where they watch their content. With an industry like this, there are bound to be a lot of sites that operate below certain ethical standards. Just a little hint for you if notifications are popping up telling you that; “Racquelle the sexy single is five miles away” it’s probably not a great site. So where is a line drawn between a good and bad site?
When watching porn, any big site with a variety of videos from different sources is known as a tube site. This is because the videos are from different sources of production, and have simply been compiled on a singular platform. A lot of times, these videos are stolen from smaller sites, or are unethical on other grounds. This could mean that they were produced in hostile– sometimes abusive–environments, or even that they were made with people under the legal age. So how can people avoid sites like this? Well, with just a little bit of effort and research, people can find sites that don’t support any harassment or negative behavior, and go about their activities with a clear conscience.
Another thing people have to be sure not to do with porn– and other media– is let it create unrealistic standards in real life. Put simply, not everyone looks the way people do in porn or movies, and not everyone should. Sex isn’t going to be the way it is in porn, just like school isn’t really the way it is in TV shows, and court isn’t really the way it was in Legally Blonde. In fact, this whole idea of unrealistic standards is what causes so many problems in the first place. That can mean beauty standards, sex standards, social standards, or even stereotypical standards. Instead of going into situations with convoluted preconceptions gained from movies, videos, or posts, try to remember everything is not what it seems online.
Yes, there are all these different sources that have the ability to negatively affect us, but they aren’t all bad. It’s a matter of how we approach things. And it's true, I’m not out here trying to convince people to stop using Instagram or TikTok or anything like that, despite the fact that I know they can impact us negatively. I just know, that as a part of a generation that has started multiple campaigns and gone viral insurmountable times using forms of media, shutting it out of our lives isn’t the answer. I’m not giving up, I’m adapting. Media was literally made to be an escape from reality. And that’s fine. Escape away. Reality can suck sometimes. All I’m saying is make sure you’re still somewhat grounded. And while that’s easier said than done, once more people see that “the internet” isn’t always the problem, they will be more willing to take steps to make social media and entertainment a healthier, more enjoyable environment for us all.
Citations
Li, Rebecca. “Social Media Isn't Really Good or Bad.” The Horizon, Westmont College, 30 Oct. 2020, horizon.westmont.edu/3532/oped/social-media-isnt-really-good-or-bad/.
Jacobson, Rae. “Social Media and Self-Doubt.” Child Mind Institute, Child Mind Institute, 16 Aug. 2021, childmind.org/article/social-media-and-self-doubt/.
Dawson, Brit. “Watching Porn Isn't Bad for Your Sex Life, Study Confirms.” Dazed, Dazed Digital, 4 Sept. 2020, www.dazeddigital.com/science-tech/article/50351/1/watching-porn-is-not-bad-for-your-sex-life-study-confirms.
Skipper, Clay. “How to Watch Porn Ethically.” GQ, Condé Nast, 20 Oct. 2015, www.gq.com/story/how-to-watch-porn-ethically.
Walc, A. “The Many Effects of Social Media on Our Mental Health.” Same Here Global, Family Life Time Solutions, 15 Feb. 2020,