No Mention of the Rainbow Around Us
Photo courtesy of Mashable
A sense of loss sweeps over me every time I read articles featured in this journal. This feeling is not related to any single topic but only to the single fact that its content creators and readers are teenagers. I wish I could go back in time to relive this tumultuous time of life, not because it was fun (trust me, it wasn’t), but because I would like to know the person I might’ve become had my peers and I been educated on topics of sexuality, identity, self-discovery, and acceptance. The luxury of getting to know oneself is a gift. The luxury of getting to know others is what makes us better and kinder. I mourn the loss of the opportunity to be like you; learning and caring about our basic humanity before stepping into adulthood and before forging intimate relationships.
We weren’t offered that gift of mutual discovery and understanding. My high school experience in the 80’s was completely binary and thus devoid of color and diversity of human experience. If some of my classmates identified as anything else, I never knew about it. Why would I? Sexual education consisted of 2 periods filled with anatomy chat and the joys of puberty. Once we were educated on the placement of our bits, we were sent on our merry way. There was no mention of the rainbow around us, and no willingness to acknowledge its existence either. And so, I became a member of yet another ignorant generation. I sailed through high school and college not knowing or having friends whose experience differed vastly from mine. How limited was my world?
I had no idea, but I know it now and I see so much color around me. This new awareness is welcomed but I’m sad because I could have been the beneficiary of its existence a lot longer had I not been born in my time. I hope you value your quest to understand who you are and what makes you love others even though this is such a delicate and trying time in your life. The realities of existence in the 21st century is cause for anxiety and a burden you must carry, and your challenges are different from those faced by my generation. But your experience is superior. You are growing up to be better, and vastly more open minded. You have the liberty of thought as you design your personal vision of you in the future. For many of you there is a commitment to choose freely regardless of expectation and I feel this ability not only declares you more interesting but also better suited for deep and meaningful attachments. You are poised to have the foundations of what’s needed in a good and healthy relationship, a foundation many of us lacked.
Looking back, being a teenager in the 80’s, and a young woman in the 90's, was a simple, ordinary, and uninspiring experience. I was raised with certain binary expectations too boring to repeat. They were only acceptable because I didn’t know better. I conclude, therefore, that I was robbed of critical knowledge that is to be devoured at your tender age, when the mind is open and free and willing to embrace all that is real and not previously understood. It seems the only path to authentic adulthood. I missed out, I got there eventually, but I left a graveyard of toxic experiences behind me that perhaps didn’t have to be. I believe that will not be your experience and for that I am glad, and I’m so proud of the direction your generation is taking. I’m hopeful for the future.